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be quiet​!​!

by Amerah Ames

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1.
i will be somewhere i cannot be i will show you things i cannot see theres nowhere i belong the people here are wrong but it's not like i am getting much from me no it's not like i am getting much from me ooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo and when we ride around in neighborhoods where my signal hides and floats above the trees we probably did the best we should but there is nowhere i'd rather be there's nowhere i belong but whatever this is getting closer the people there are wrong but it’s not like i am getting younger getting faster getting stronger ooooooooooooooooooo.
2.
spring 02:56
if you don't sit next to me you'll sit over there and that couch will eat you and i'll feel bad that you're dead but not that bad i can never be alone not properly not even in this room and when you're gone i will feel gone too when summer comes is when everyone forgets about you and me you and me and i will wish again for spring when summer comes is when everyone forgets about you and me you and me and you will see you will see.
3.
loud 03:41
i am there for a grade you are there for fun will you give me a ride when it's over. there is nothing left to be but unwittingly, undoubtedly older it's fine for you it's good for me too I fill the room but they look at me to say "hey you need to calm down" i look up at the ceiling, i try not to drown but that is just how i am and i fall in love with the place, with the room we are in and your face says you can feel the paint on the wall feels says you can feel the paint on the wall feels there was so much light in the sky that night there was so much light alright if i walk on out will you talk about me so loud so loud so loud
4.
if you think you know what's out there you don't you don't if i think i know what's in here i won't i won't and nothing will change that unless we rearrange this a different way than it is and all they let us do is wander back and forth but it comes back to you it comes back to you if i am just sitting in the bathroom on the floor and i think i know what's in here i don't i dont and if it's a question of how i can end this there are better questions to ask
5.
relatable 04:40
if i count the times i've been in this room i try to tell myself it will be okay soon but i don't know that in the slightest sometimes that's okay too if i count the times that i've had with you it's hard to say just what we've been through but i will try to be relatable if that helps you be okay too i'm okay i'm okay and you're okay too you're okay too you're okay too i want it i want it but i can't have you and that's just as well that's okay too
6.
hey 00:26
you've gotta give yourself a little slack. hey! you've gotta allow yourself to bring it back but if you are sad or scared you'll have to find another way or you'll just be there all alone until another day
7.
everything is spinning turning everyone is changing learning i don't learn i don't change i don't see a thing get inside the car now think i'll stay around do you ever think how much is changing all the time now i will think of you when i am at my worst this summer we can't do this thing forever we cant do this thing forever 'well' you said 'let's go together' i will show you now or never things are changing like the weather it will never stop take it one step at a time everything will be just fine learn to cope learn to breathe i don't see a thing it is cold and it is windy but it's not so unforgiving i will learn to keep on living cause it doesn't stop sitting on the train while i'm holding your hand thinking all the time do i even have a plan do i even love you here in the dark i am afraid i'm just leaving my mark
8.
love 00:57
im done-zo with love i don't like the way it feels the way it sits in your bones the way it makes your heart peel the way it soaks into your skin like it's part of the sun i got other things to do and that's why i am done. i wanna chew up love i wanna put it in my mouth i wanna swallow it down i want to spit love back up.
9.
pancakes 05:43
there was a pancake waiting for me the stuffed horse didn't want any and neither did you if anyone told me i would be alive to make pancakes the rest of my life i would say they were lying but it's true i thought i'd feel real if i was in a film but as it turns out there is no "feeling real" and that's all i was trying and the thought of you stirring up that pancake batter is never really gonna help me feel better and when i ate ice cream one night in the shower i felt whimsical but that doesn't matter it's okay don't think about it any way it's true, i'll admit you were right all the while and i think someday i'll care about something more than having some sort of plan i'm sorry but i don't ever think you'll understand i’ll always see more than i’ll ever really be pretty sure that's kind of a bad thing you'll always be too wrong and too mean and too weird for me but eventually i'll probably stop caring
10.
lizard cage 01:23
i don't wanna try it they say that i won't mind it but i'm worried that i will cry and freak out and mess things up but you, i wanna try it you just don't realize it and no one could ever be e good enough so i cry in my lizard cage i'll die one day some day soon
11.
city rain 02:56
the rain isn't warm anymore it falls and freezes i sit crouching, under the building where i lived it used to smell good when the water hit the pavement the disturbed dust of the city streets mixing with the warm spring air the change i felt when i looked at them all indifferent and afraid climbing up the fourteen steps each one closer to the life they'd made and i i am alone as ever but that is how i want to be at least for a while at least that's what i've found works for me
12.
trying 05:19
i will not listen i do not think so it's hard to talk so i'll just sit here quietly and tell a few lies it’s hard to breathe at home, i’m all right i watch tv watch tv watch tv watch tv i can't do it all last night i had a dream your face seeps into everything i touch - i hate it but it's all i've got i will try to forget you but that’s not what i said that’s not what i’m saying or will i or will I I'm trying I'm trying to be quiet the snow it falls down around my head and so instead i will think of what you'd say to me but you are gone and i'm not really at my best there’s nothing in my head that says you’re gonna grow up soon - but when? i like the way you are somehow the way you breathe i don’t know how to treat you now i am not really at my best so i just won't think about what you said (i like the way you are right now i don’t know how to treat you now the way you breathe please look at me i don’t know how just kill me now)

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released August 15, 2016

music and words by amerah ames
guitar and drums and keys and everything by amerah ames
thank you to garrett rasband for letting me use your drums on tracks 4 and 5. thank you to rachel hunt and shelley jones for record those drums. additional mixing by spencer "spencer" taylor on track 7.
written/produced from 2013-2016 in brigham city, UT and sunny salt lake city UT

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Amerah Ames Salt Lake City, Utah

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